Whispered dreams.

*Joe*
I sat in a chair by Kandie's bed. Kandie lie asleep on her bed with a temperature, blankets were piled on top of her. I was beginning to worry about her, she got sick often. Much too often. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, letting my head fall into my hands. I listened to my girlfriend breath, and cough every once in a while, in her sleep. Her being sick didn't make me feel any better about being gone away from her in the military. I loved being in the Army, and I didn't like being away from Kandie as much as I was, but it was a choice I had made that I couldn't, and didn't, want to get out of. The only way I could keep Kandie with me while I was on base was to marry her but I couldn't do that. I was only eighteen years-old, and she only seventeen.
"Joseph."
I looked up at the sound of my name. Kandie was still asleep on her bed, she turned her head back and forth. "Joseph." She whispered again. I leaned over towards her.
"Kandie." I touched her shoulder. "Katherine, baby." I shook the girl as she muttered my name for the third time. "Baby, wake up." Kandie's eyes blinked open, her breathing was uneven. "Are you all right? You were talking in your sleep, honey." I placed my hand on the top of her head.
"A dream, Joe." Kandie said, looking up with me. "You were gone, and...and not coming back." She had tears in her eyes.
"Aw, honey, it's OK, I'm right here don't worry." I sat down on the side of her bed. "Go back to sleep, love. I'll be right here, I won't leave...for a while." I leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Promise me, Joseph." Kandie whispered.
She was so sick she couldn't speak above a whisper, it hurt my heart. "I promise you, I'll stay here." I told her smiling. "Sleep, you need to get better." I waited until she closed her eyes, before again taking my seat in the chair.

Heartbeat

The up and down of the monitor,

Measures your heartbeat,

The heartbeat I grew to love,

Even though I never heard it,

Never got to press my hand

Against your chest

And feel the beating beneath the scar.

The many times that monitor went flat

Brings tears to my eyes,

And reminds me of the many  times,

I almost lost you,

And the time that it stayed flat

Never to return

Almost brings me to my knees.

I try to keep the tears inside,

And a smile on the surface

Because I know that’s what you want,

But sometimes it’s too hard

And I fail.

Poem For Chase

Tears are streaking down my face

No matter how bad he wouldn’t want them to.

My feelings grew for him,

Even when I knew they didn’t need to.

I didn’t know his feelings towards me…

Until he was gone.

I still, and forever will, love him.

He always told me not to worry about him

And I know he wouldn’t want me crying

The words “he loved you” keep coming back,

I don’t know why he didn’t tell me

And I won’t know until I meet him in Heaven.

The black bear is here next to me,

Just like he was in spirit ever since he left.

It hard for me to let him go,

To accept the fact that he is gone,

That I won’t get to talk to him again

On this earth anyway.

I don’t know how long that will be,

But as always I’ll try to be patient….

That’s one thing he taught me,

Patience.

 

 

Rest In Peace…My Chase.

Yet another poem

I spoke to him last night

He was weak and tired.

It made me feel better

Know that he was OK,

Yet it made me hurt more,

Knowing that he’s leaving.

I sit here and think,

Of all the things he told me,

And the pain keeps on coming,

Pushing against me.

I arch my back

Trying to get in a better position

Wanting the pain

In my chest to go away.

Fire Light

 

I picked up a few pieces of wood and started to carry them down to the fire pit.

“Let me carry those, Kandie. You can carry the matches.” Joe came up beside of me, reached for the wood, and placed the box of matches, and some rolled up newspapers in my hand. “It’s a great day for a chicken stew.” He remarked as we walked towards the fire pit that was in the lower horse pasture. “It’s getting cold.” He looked up at the darkening sky.

“Yes, it is.” I nodded in agreement. I looked ahead of us at Robert and Jane both were carrying the plates, forks and cups –all plastic of course- towards the table set up on one side of the fire.  “I could’ve carried the wood, I’m not that weak.” I told him, as I felt useless only carrying the match box.

Joe chuckled. “The wood weighs more than you do.” He teased me. “And it can hurt you.” He set the wood down by the pit and straightened back up.

“It does not.” I crinkled my nose at him. “And I’ll be fine carrying wood.” I hated the teasing sparkle in the young mans’ eyes as he looked down at me. “I’m not helpless, Joe.” I turned around and headed back towards the wood pile.

“Nice going, Joe, it’s a great night to upset her.” Jane spoke to her brother.

“Shut up, Jane.” Joe snapped before following me. His legs were longer than mine, and I wasn’t walking very fast, so it didn’t take him long to catch up to me. “Kandie.” He grabbed onto my arm to make me stop walking. “Don’t be mad at me, please, I was just kidding with you.” He said. “I thought you knew that.”

“I did, Joe, but sometimes I get tired of feeling useless, and helpless.” I explained. “I can take care of myself.” I looked up at him. “I’m not that weak.”

“I-I know that, Kandie.” Joe let his hand fall to his side. “I…” he ran his fingers through his short cropped hair. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. You are a big help to everyone, especially to me.” He whispered the last few words.

“It’s OK. I know you didn’t mean to.” I forgave him. “I’m sorry too, for over reacting and getting upset when I shouldn’t have.” I wanted to reach out and touch him but I didn’t.

“I understand, it’s OK.” Joe shook his head as to say ‘don’t apologize’.

“Kandie!”

We both looked up the hill at the sound of my name, Sarah, my twin sister, stood by my parents car that was now parked in the Guyers’ driveway. She was looking at me with an exciting smile on her face.

“It’s probably about Riley.” I remarked.

“Go on and talk to her, I’ll get the rest of the wood.” Joe told me.

“Ugh! You win.” I scoffed. I lay one hand on his arm, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for caring about, and protecting  me.” I smiled at him.

“You’re welcome.” He returned my smile before I headed towards where my sister was, and he walked to the wood pile.

“What is it, Sarah?” I asked once I got to her. She looked really pretty with her light blonde hair pulled back, and a light cover of makeup on her face.

The sparkle in (my sisters blue) eyes was bright. “(Riley)’s coming.” Sarah told me. “He should be here in about half an hour.” She seemed extra bouncy tonight.

I laughed at her. “I thought it might have been about him.” I said teasingly. “Hello, Mama. Hey, Daddy.” I looked past Sarah and greeted my parents who were talking to Mr. and Mrs. Guyer.

“Hello, Kandie." My parents spoke back smiling at me.

"Kandie, if you don’t mind, can you and Sarah go get the condiments and napkins?” Mrs. Guyer asked me.

“Sure, Janise.” I took Sarah’s arm and led her inside the house. “So how is Riley?” I asked as I picked up the napkins, and relish packages off of the kitchen counter, handed them to Sarah before picking up the mustard, ketchup, and potato chip bag and setting them on a tray.

“He’s good. Working a lot, and trying to stay ahead in school.” Sarah said. “Do you want me to put these  on the tray too?” I nodded and she set what I had handed her on the tray. “And so it’s good for him to get a break every once in a while.”

“That’s good. He needs a break every once in a while.” I said. “I’m just trying to spend as much time as I can with Joe before he leaves for training which still isn’t for a while.” I picked up the tray and walked towards the door that led outside.

“Are you OK with that?” Sarah asked as she opened the screen door for me. “With him leaving for so long?”

I shrugged as we fell into step together. “I’m not crazy about it, no, but I support him in it. He’s wanted to join the Army since he was eight-years-old and I’m not going to keep him from doing something he wants to do. It’s a good thing, and we both need to see how we’ll do being away from each other for long periods of time.” I told her. “I know I love him, and don’t want to lose him but he’ll be OK.” I glanced over at her. “It’ll be difficult for a while not having him here.” I let my gaze slide over the pasture looking for Joe. I spotted him chasing after Jan, I smiled at them.

“And I’m sure he feels the same way. I know he loves you.” Sarah smiled teasingly at me. “He’s crazy about you, Kee.” She called me by the nickname she had given to me when we were little.

“And I’m just as crazy about him.” I said. “I just don’t want to let him go.” I set the tray down on the table.

“Who said you had to??” Sarah looked at me with a knowing glance.

“No one. I guess I meant let him go where I won’t see him often.” I began unloading the tray not wanting to talk about Joe leaving any longer.

“OK.” Sarah understood my tactic. “Where’s Jonah?” She asked looking around for Joe’s younger brother.

“He’s going to pick up Jennifer.” I replied. Jonah had recently started dating a girl from school, which took some of the tension between Joe and Jonah away. “I’m so glad they’re dating. Jen has been waiting for Jonah for a few years.” I added.

“And because it takes pressure off of Joe.” Sarah added. She glanced towards the driveway hoping to see Riley’s black car, when she didn’t spot the vehicle she looked back at me.
“Yes, that too.” I nodded. “He hasn’t threatened us in a while.” I picked up the tray and set it on the ground beneath the table. “By ‘threatened’ I mean try to hurt Joe, and take me.” I explained. I shivered as a breeze blew, rubbing my arms I looked over at the fire pit.
“It’s getting cold out here.” Sarah too was wrapping her arms around her body. “The fire isn’t started.” She said also looking at the pit.
“Joe!” I called the young man. Joe had caught Jan by now and was tossing her up into the air making the child squeal. “He’ll start the fire.” I said smiling at my sister.
“Maybe he didn’t hear you.” Sarah remarked when he didn’t come.
“No, he heard me.” I shook my head. “Joseph!” I couldn’t help smiling when I called him the second time, using his full name, knowing that he’d come faster if I did. Joe set Jan down on the ground, spoke something to her probably about coming back to play in a little while, before walking over to me. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth as he got closer. Sometimes I hated what Joe could do to my feelings just by looking at me.
“Sorry, I was coming, I was going to toss Jan a few more times.” Joe told me once he stood in front of me.
I shook my head. “No, it’s OK. You could have.” I looked up at him. “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind starting the fire, it’s getting cold.” I smiled sweetly at him. “Please.”
Joe returned my smile making the dimple in his right cheek appear, causing me to catch my breath. “Anything below sixty degrees is cold to you, Kandie.” He teased me reaching up and tugging lightly on a strand of my brown hair. “Yes, I can start the fire.” He nodded. He then turned to Sarah. “Please, tell you sister to stop looking at me like that, it doesn’t help my health.” He then turned and headed to the fire pit.
Sarah giggled. “I’ll tell her.” She nodded to him then looked at me with a teasing grin. “You heard him.” She lightly shoved my shoulder. “Don’t kill your boyfriend.” Her (light brown???) eyes laughed at me.
“Shut up.” I muttered. “I’m not doing anything to hurt him.” I moved over and sat down on one of the log benches that surrounded the fire pit. Sarah didn’t join me. “Sorry, Joe.” I apologized to him. He was crouched at the pit stacking fire wood and kindling into the hole. I heard Joe’s soft chuckle drift over his shoulder. “What?” I asked him.
Joe tossed a few more sticks into the pile before turning to me. “You do know I was just kidding, right?” He took the two small steps-he actually crawled- over to where I sat, rose up eye-level with me, resting his hands on my knees.
“Yes, I know that.” I looked straight into his eyes which was a mistake because I knew I wouldn’t be able to look away. “I thought I’d be nice and apologize anyway.” I mumbled covering his hands with mine.
“Thank you.” Joe rubbed his thumbs over my knees. “Of course you’re forgiven.” He glanced back at Sarah for a second before switching his eyes back to me. “It does weaken me though.” He said before leaning forward and lightly pressing his lips to mine.
“Ew, Joe!” I heard Jan say from several feet away.
“Shouldn’t that weaken you too?” I asked once he pulled back. I tried to catch my breath.
“Yes. And it does.” Joe replied with a nod, leaning away from me.
“Fire, Joseph.” I managed to tear my gaze away from his, and look behind him at the still dry wood.
“Right.” Joe nodded in understanding and turned back to his task.
Sarah then chose to sit down next to me on the log, and once again shoved me playfully on the shoulder. A sweet “aw, I can’t believe he just did that” smile was spread up my sisters face. “Nice.” She whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.
I laughed a little and nodded in agreement. I heard Trimsy, my wolf who sat behind me,  growl, making me look up towards the house. “Your boyfriend’s here now.” I said teasingly to Sarah seeing Riley’s black corvette stopping next to my parents car in the Guyers’ long driveway.
    Sarah couldn’t keep the smile from spreading up her face even more.
“Go meet him.” I made a motion with my hands to shoo her away.
“I’m going.” Sarah stood and headed towards the car.
I reached back and touched Trimsy’s head. “Easy girl.” I tried to sooth the wolf. “He’s a friend.” I watched Riley’s face brighten once he saw Sarah walking towards him. I was happy for Sarah, Riley was a very nice guy who seemed to care much about her. I watched the two quickly embrace in greeting, then step back and start talking. I shivered again as the wind blew, standing I stepped over to the table, poured hot apple cider into a Styrofoam cup, and sat back down on the log. Joe had gotten a few sticks to burn by now, and was trying to coax the fire to catch onto the logs. “Having difficulties?” I asked him. I cupped my hands around the warm cup.
    “It’s not wanting to light.” Joe told me. He blew at the flames a few more times. “Finally!” He sighed as a log caught fire. After waiting a minute or two more to make sure the fire was going good he slid back and sat on the ground next to my legs brushing the dirt from his hands. “I started the fire for you.” He looked back at me, his brown hair fell over his forehead.
I smiled. “Yes, you did. Thank you.” I reached up and pushed his bangs to the side. “You can go play with Jan if you want.” I let my hand fall back to my lap.
“Daniel is.” Joe pointed towards the upper pasture where my little brother Daniel and Jan were at building something with sticks. “He doesn’t mind playing with Jan even though he is several years older.” He said. “I appreciate it.”
“Yes, he gets along well with children Jan’s age, I guess it’s because he feels like a big brother.” I took a sip of my cider. “Do you get tired of playing with her?” I asked him not sure what he meant by ‘appreciate‘.
Joe brushed the dirt off of his knees. “No, I don’t mind playing with her. I love Jan. But sometimes she doesn’t realize I want to spend time with you, too.” He slid up next to me on the log. “Daniel lets me and Jan get what we want.” He raised his hand in a wave. “Hey, Riley.” He greeted the young man extending his hand towards Riley, who had apparently come into the circle with Sarah.
“Hey, Joe.” Riley took Joe’s offered hand and shook it. “Hey, Kandie.” He nodded politely at me.
“Hey, Riley.” I smiled at both Riley and Sarah. Sarah’s smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger. I spotted a football, baseball, and a few mitts a few feet away turning to Joe I said, “You and Riley can go throw a football or something if you want.” I wasn’t trying to get rid of the boys because I didn’t want them aroung but I wanted to talk to Sarah, alone for a few minutes.
Joe looked down at me, understood what I wanted, and nodded. “You owe me a walk later.” He whispered into my ear before standing.
“That might be hard to give.” I said sarcastically. I watched him pick up the football and lead Riley out into the field. “Sit.” I told Sarah nodding my head towards the seat Joe had been sitting in.
Sarah obeyed. “Are you mad at me?” She asked a puzzled look on her face.
I laughed. “No! I just wanted to talk to you.” I drank the rest of my warm cider and set the cup down. “You can’t stop smiling can you?” I teased her.
“No.” Sarah shook her head, her eyes darting towards Riley who was throwing the football to Joe. “I have never felt this way towards anybody before.” She twisted a strand of her hair around her finger. “It’s like nothing bad could happen.”
I held my hands out towards the fire. “Do you feel like he’s a magnet, and you’re the paperclip?” I saw my other siblings arriving in my older brother, Daniel’s, truck.
“Yes!” Sarah nodded, her face had a look of embarrassment on it. “I feel like I suffocate him sometimes.” She pushed her hair back out of her face and I noticed her face was pink.
“It’s not just you. I feel the same way towards Joe.” I smiled at her. “It’s normal. I don’t feel like I suffocate Joe as much as I use to. He’ll go out with his friends sometimes without me, which is fine, and I do the same with my friends.” I glanced at Daniel and Jan, then towards Joe and Riley. “It’s just something about guys that makes that happen. I think it also depends on how strong the relationship is.” I thought back to two years ago….

Dot…..poem

 

Dots,

I try to picture you…

But it is blurred

Not only because of my tears

But also because I have never seen you

Except for in pictures.

You always know when something is bothering me,

Even when I try to hide it,

And I say I hate that you do

But it’s a lie.

Now I wish you would ask me again

Just so I could talk to you,

And know that you’re at least OK.

I can’t picture you

Weak, and tired

Lying in a hospital bed

Surrounded by monitors

………..Dying.

Hate…Ice…Love

I knew I shouldn’t have

But I let my feelings out.

So now I lay here

With red, stinging eyes

And a pain in my heart.

There is only one thing

That can slide through

The ice that covers my heart:

Daggers.

Thrown by, not him this time,

But her.

The one who hates me,

Because I like him…

Or I did.

There is only one thing

That can BREAK the ice:

An arrow.

That arrow has not yet

Been shot.

It is the arrow

Of TRUE LOVE.

Just Journaling

 

I don’t understand why, or how, I feel the way I feel about him. Is it because he knows when I’m upset?? No, he only knows that by the dots…..that I put. Is it because he teaches me without knowing it? No, a lot of people do that. I don’t know the cause of my feelings; I just know they’re there. I don’t know if they’re a good thing, or bad. Sometimes I think it’s good, he’s a nice guy, so it seems. But other times I think it’s bad. If nothing is going to happen beyond what there is now, then it will be for nothing…almost nothing. Feelings are not controlled, you can’t choose who you like, you can only choose to help what you feel.

Forever Loved

My heart goes out to her;

The girl I got so close to

So quickly.

She needs me now

More than ever,

As her body

Is killing her baby.

She doesn’t know

If she will ever see

The child growing inside.

And I want to be there

To comfort her

To hold her while she cries.

The baby has barely moved

And it’s been two days,

We are both getting worried

Hoping the child gets to stay.

I almost cried last night

As I thought of both of them;

The mother so young

And needing a friend.

The baby not even born

And has so many troubles.

Poem

 

I was thinking of you today.

And all that you’ve been through

In the past few weeks.

The day I learned of the accident,

Almost four weeks ago,

I couldn’t help but let the tears fall

And pray to God that you lived.

God answered my prayer,

After three days of worrying,

And constantly asking for updates.

I was afraid to tell you

How you make me smile,

Even when you barely say anything.

I didn’t want to say

Anything about the feelings

I have towards you.

But I did.

At first it was difficult

Because I was trying to stop

The feelings that I had,

But then I couldn’t so I just let it go,

And now they’ve grown.

I can’t help that

And I know that they are probably

There for nothing

Yet they’re there,

And are still growing.

Right now I’m thinking of you,

And how every heartbeat

That beats beneath the scar,

Is a heartbeat that is

Not suppose to have beaten.

I am glad that it beats,

Because if it didn’t,

I wouldn’t have you

To make sure I think the good things.

Why?

Sometimes it's hard to understand why things happen. Why did this person die? Why did this couple gets a divorce? Why was this child born mentally challenged? Why? Why is a question we ask a lot. With a friend of mine in the hospital I am now asking why? Why did this happen to him? Why did this happen to one of the nicest guys I have ever met? Why when he is so young? I can't answer these questions. All I can say is: God has a plan. And we need to accept that plan whether we like it or not. He will be OK either way.

I often ask myself, ask God really, why he let me live. I was born four months early, weighing one pound and five ounces. I stayed in the hospital for three months. I was poked in the stomache with one of the tubes the doctors were putting inside of me, so they had to go in fix the whole and sew me back up. I now have a scar across my stomache, and it's sunk in (I was only a few hours old when this and what I am about to say next happened). I was laying on a table where a nurse, (a training doctor actually), was working. She mixed two chemicals together, that should NEVER be mixed I might add, and accidentally spilled it on me. I layed in the chemicals for four hours I believe. The burn left scars from my mid-back down to my thigh, also splotching on my ankles, and left hand. I have other scars from tubes. The only part of my body that is not scarred is my right arm. My parents, my family, were told multiple times that I would not live. I did. I ask God every day: What is your plan for me? Why did you let me live? There is a reason I know.

I am praying hard for my friend, I have grown to cherish his friendship over the past couple weeks, and I don't want him to go. But it's in God's hands.

GREEN

Here are a few banners on one of the best book series ever! GREEN: Book Zero!

^I know you can't see all of it so here is the URL to it:
http://www.youtube.com/v/9zwE31wJ3M4&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0


Please join! My recruit number is 4892

Short Poem

Why is this feeling here?
It was only a dream.
Pictures in my mind during sleep.
They didn’t create the feeling,
Did they?

I don’t like feeling this way
Like no one loves me,
I have no purpose in life.
Or like I have lost my best friend.

`Candi

Worried About Her

 

I sat alone on the couch with my legs folded Indian-style. I heard Joe enter the room but neither looked up nor spoke. My thoughts were not in this room, they were miles away with Katie. The girl was having so many difficulties that I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling.

“Kath?”

I looked up when Joe spoke my name. “Yes?” I asked.

“Honey, what’s wrong? I’ve said your name three times.” He knelt in front of me his brown eyes clouded with worry, just like mine were.

“I-I’m sorry, Joe.” I stuttered. “I’m just worried about Katie.” I felt the tears start to slide down my face. “What if she loses the baby?” My voice was shaky. “She’s going through so much right now.”

“It’s OK. God has a plan and a reason for all of this.” Joe spoke gently.

“I know but I’m still scared.” My hands started shaking. “She’s so little.” More tears slid down my face and I couldn’t speak any longer.

“Don’t cry, please, don’t cry.” Joe wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.
“I’m scared, Joe.” I sobbed into his shoulder. “I’m scared.”

“I know, honey, I know.” Joe rubbed his hand up and down my back. “Shhhh.” He tried to soothe me.

I tried to stop crying but couldn’t.

“She said she’ll let you know what the doctors say.” Joe spoke into my ear. He apparently had picked up my cell phone and read the new text message I had received. “Do you want me to tell her anything?” He asked.

“Tell her ‘OK, and I’m praying for her and love her.’” I replied after stopping my tears.

Joe typed and sent the message. “Are you OK?” He dusted his thumb underneath my eye.

I nodded. “Yeah.” I blew my nose into a tissue from the box laying beside of me. “I’m sorry, Joe, I don’t mean to cry so much.”

“It’s fine.” Joe shook his head. “You’re worried about your friend, I’d cry if I was you.” He slid up next to me on the couch and slipped one arm around my waist.

“I want to go see her.” I threw the tissue into the already tissue filled trash can. “But I can’t, she lives so far away.” I looked up at Joe. “It’s just too difficult.”

“Maybe you’ll be able to sometime later.” Joe pushed my hair out of my face. “It’ll work out. Don’t worry.”

I nodded. “I’ll try not to.” I reached up and pulled at the chain that hung around his neck pulling out the dog tags from beneath his shirt. The cool metal of the tags pressed into my palm. “You leave me in two days.” I mumbled.

“I know, and you’re making it very hard.” Joe rubbed his thumb over my hand that he held. “I know you want me to do what I want but right not I’m not sure what I want to do.”

“You don’t have a choice to go back, Joe. You have to.” I told him. “I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to make it difficult.” I apologized. I ran my thumb over the tag, I let it slip out of my hand, it bounced against Joe’s chest and jingled as the tags hit each other. “I know that it would be easier for both of us if I transferred to a college near where you’re stationed.”

“Yes, it would be. I won’t ask you to do that unless you really want to, and if it will be easy.” Joe said. “I would love it if you did but I know it’s difficult, and tedious.”

I nodded in understanding. “I might just wait until next year since this term is almost over.” I told him…………………………..

Another Poem for AJ

I know the last stanza isn’t the same number of lines but…..here:

Everything is fine,
It will be okay.
He is alive
And in a crib he lays.
I know you want him
To be with you
But he’s safe
And you’ll see him soon.

He came three months early,
At 4 pounds, 6 ounces
He is still too small
To go to your races.
With brown hair, and blue eyes
He takes after his daddy,
With eyes like the skies.

I’m thankful to be named,
The godmother of the boy,
And I hope you won’t be ashamed,
I’ll take care of
Alexander James
~Candi Michelle

Carrie and Josh

Here is another story I'm writing. I haven't edited it yet so sorry about the spelling/grammar errors!!! :( :) I would tell you what it's about but then you wouldn't read it.


I'll explain a little bit how I came up with this story (should I do that from now on?)...well I use to live in a old farm house. My room was on the top floor and a lot of nights it would sound like someone was "walking around in the attic". So I came up with the idea of "Carrie and Josh" from that. Again I am re-writing it so...don't be too harsh. :/


1/ Carrie and Josh
Carrie Jones walked up the driveway of the white farmhouse she lived in with her family.
“Did you feed lightning?” Mrs. Jones asked her.
“Yes” Carrie replied. She went up to her room and sat down on her bed.
A noise sounded above her, this was weird because Carries room was upstairs, (the house was only two stories) it sounds like someone’s moving around up there she thought. She stood up and went outside. Chelsea Alexander her best friend was in the front yard.
“ Still hearing noises above your room, Carr?” Chelsea asked, teasingly.
“Yeh” Carrie replied. They walked over to the Alexanederses and got the horses out, “ hey Snowflake,” Carrie said as she opened the white horses stall. She took her out and put her in the crossties. After riding a while the two girls went inside and ate lunch.
Later that night a boy, sixteen or so, stood over Carries bed, she was asleep he looked down at her, I’ve got to tell her, he thought, tomorrow,( he bent down and lightly kissed her cheek.)
The next morning Carrie sat down at the computer to do her school, she (and her two sisters and brother) were home schooled.
Afterwards Carrie went outside and fed the horses, she petted lightning’s chestnut colored coat as he ate apple pieces out of her hand. "Good boy." She muttered.
That night as Carrie slept, the boy stood over her bed.
“Carrie,” he whispered,” Carrie,” she opened her eyes and almost screamed before he covered her mouth. "Shhhh."
“Who are you?” she asked once he moved his hand.
“I’ll tell you in a minute, follow me” the boy said
Carrie let him lead her to her closet there were stairs,
“ I didn’t know those were there,” she said in surprise. He led her up the stairs.
“Wow,” Carrie gasped,” how’d all this get up here?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. They were up here when I came here before your family bought this house,” he said,” by the way I’m Josh. Josh Eirs,” Josh said.
“I’m Carrie Jones,” Carrie said, for some reason she felt like he already knew her name by the computers that showed her room.” How long have you been up here?” she asked.
“About two, three, years,” Josh replied, ”I’m sixteen, be seventeen in September,” he told her, his brown eyes sparkled as he looked at her.
“You’ve been up here since you were thirteen?” she asked.
“Yep, I know how to work all this stuff,” Josh said,“ I just brought you up here to show you this was here and to tell you I was up here. You can come up here whenever you want,” he said,” come here,” she came over to him, he took her over to one of the computers. He sat down,” put your hand right here,” he said. She did. “Press down hard,” he held her wrist. “ All right, you can take it out now. Your hands been programmed into the lock,” he told her. She looked down at his hand that encircling her wrist. He let go of her wrist. She pushed a strand of her brown hair behind her ear.
__________________
“Josh what are you doing?” Carrie asked she had been going up to his room for several weeks.
“Watching you,” the boy replied teasingly.
“What does all this do?” Carrie asked.
“Come here,” Josh said, he stood up she sat in his chair, “ this one, is the cameras,” he told her.
“Oh,” Carrie said.
“ There only in your room and there’s one in the dinning room,” Josh said.
“Why are they in my room?” Carrie asked.
“ I don’t know I wasn’t here when this stuff was put in here,” Josh said,“ remember?” “I’ve watched you for two years,” Josh said, “but I didn’t see you change or anything.”
“Uhhuh,” Carrie said,“ Josh, can I tell Chelsea about you?” she asked.
“Well…” he drug out the word, “ I guess. I know she’s
never told any of your secrets,” he said.
“Thanks,” Carrie said.
“ Your welcome,” Josh said.
“Josh why don’t you go to school?” Carrie asked.
“Don’t need to,” Josh replied.
“ I guess you don’t with all these computers,” Carrie s-
aid.
“I’ve got some school CD’s,” Josh said.
_____________
“Guess what, Chels?” Carrie said, the next day.
“What?” Chelsea asked.
“You know the noises I’ve been hearing?” Carrie said.
“Yeh,” Chelsea said.
“Well, it’s a boy. His name is Josh, he’s sixteen,” Carrie said.
“OHHHHHHHH!” Chelsea said.
“ Come on, do you want to meet him?” Carrie asked.
“Yeh,” Chelsea said.
　
Carrie took her up to her room she unlocked the secret staircase and lead her up the stairs.
“ Josh?” Carrie whispered before they got to the top of the stairs.
“You can come in, Carrie,” Josh said.
Carrie entered the room Chelsea behind her, “Josh,
This is Chelsea. Chelsea, this is Josh,” Carrie introduced them.
Chelsea shook Josh’s hand.
“Were you just watching us?” Carrie asked.
“Yeh,” Josh replied his dark eyes twinkling.
“Josh,” Carrie said.
“It’s not that hard, you were in the dining room, that’s just the camera I had it on,” Josh said.
“What?” Chelsea asked.
“He has cameras in the house, in my room mostly and there’s one in the dinning room,” Carrie explained to her friend.
Josh got up, Carrie sat down in his chair, and watched the cameras.
“Josh,” Carrie said several minutes later,” something just happened,” she said. Josh came over to her, he reached over/around her and hit a few buttons, the cameras came back on.
“I got to go, Carrie,” Chelsea said.
“Ok, I’ll go with you,” Carrie said, ”I’ll be back in a minute, Josh,” she told him.
“Ok,” Josh said, as the girls left the room.
“And Josh,” Carrie said,” cut the microphones off,” she said. They walked down the steps.
“He’s handsome,” Chelsea said when they got outside.
　
“Mmmhmm,” Carrie agreed, they laughed,” don’t tell anyone, Chels, this is a secret,” Carrie told her friend.
“I promise,” Chelsea said.
After taking Chelsea home Carrie went back up to the attic.
“Do you think we should put her programmed in the lock?” Josh asked.
“No she’ll be up here whenever she’s not busy,” Carrie said,” if her boyfriend finds out she’s hanging out with another boy, he’ll try to find you.”
Carrie told him,” and Chelsea can get boy crazy.”
Josh chuckled,” I’d choose you over her any day, Carrie,” he told her,“I’m serious.’
“You haven’t known…well I haven’t known you that long,” Carrie said.
“You’re right, Carrie,” Josh said,” but I still would,” he said.
“And I wouldn’t want you to get hurt,” Carrie said,” you’re the only boy I’ve ever liked.”
“Same here except girl,” Josh said,” I’ve never liked a boy,” Josh shook his shoulders,” never would either, I’d be happy if I just married you,” he said.
“We’re too young to talk about that,” Carrie said.
“I’m almost 18,” Josh defended himself,” anyway do you want to go out tomorrow?” Josh asked.
“I would love to but how are you gonna get out of here without anyone seeing you?” Carrie asked him,” and I’ll have to tell my parent’s something. I can’t tell them you live in our attic.”
“No,” Josh teased her,” just leave it to me,” he said,” just tell your parents I live in a apartment I sort of do.”
“Ok, sure? I don’t want to lie. You don’t have a cat,” Carrie said.
“Yes, I do, it’s at my friends house,” Josh told her,” I bought it from him when I went out when your family was on vacation,” he said.
“ Drivers license?” Carrie asked.
Josh pulled out of his pocket/wallet, his license,” Yep took it before I got the car,” he said, smiling at the girl.
“We also need to figure out how you’re going to get back up here,” Carrie said.
“Just wait till everyone’s asleep in their beds,” Josh said.
“I’ll leave it to you, you’re smarter than I am,” Carrie said.
Josh looked at her,” I am not, Carrie, “he said.
Carrie looked over at him, “You’re older than me so yes you are,” Carrie said.
“No I’m not, Josh thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Your dad’s nice,” Josh said, the next night as they sat in the/a restaurant,” it worked out,” he said.
Carrie smiled,” Yes, it did, and yes, he is,” she said.
“You look beautiful tonight,” Josh said.
“Thank you,” Carrie said,” you look very handsome.”
“It’s the best I could do,” Josh said.
“You didn’t watch me change did you?” Carrie asked.
“No,” Josh replied.
“You better not,” Carrie said.
“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Josh said.
“Good,” Carrie said, ”how are we going to get you back in your room?” she asked.
“Do what I told you yesterday,” Josh replied.
“Allright,” Carrie said.
Josh paid the bill and they left.
“I had a great time tonight, Josh,” Carrie said as they walked up her front porch steps,” I’ll see you in a minute,” she whispered, “goodnight.”
　
　
　~DL

Chapter 2: Joe and Kandie

Here is chapter 2 of Joe and Kandie:

 

Chapter 2

    ~Joe and Janise~

    “What did you and Mrs. Bryson talk about?” I asked my mom as we walked away from Kandie and Mrs. Bryson. I followed her onto the front porch.
“I explained to Sarah what Kandie told me yesterday and she seemed to understand.” Mama sat down on the porch swing. I sat beside of her. “Sarah has always wanted the best for her children, I don’t understand how she missed what was going on with Kandie.”
“What else?” I asked as I glanced towards Kandie and Sarah as they headed towards the orchard.
“I asked if Kandie could stay one more night.” Mama said. “And if we could talk later about something.” She smiled at me.
“What?” I didn’t like the look she gave me.
“Nothing.” Mama said her eyes glinting.
“What are you going to talk about later?” I asked curiously,
“I can’t tell you.” Mama shook her head. “You’ll see later.”
I sighed. “OK.”
“You like her a lot don’t you?” Mama asked next.
I ran my finger along the chain of the swing. “Yes, I do.” I said. “I never stopped liking Kandie.” I looked my mother. “Why? Do I not need to?”
“No! That is fine. You can like whoever you want.” My mother smiled again. “If I could pick a girl for you it would be Kandie Bryson.”
I laughed. “I’m glad I have you’re approval.” I said. “I know you like her.”

~Kandie~
  

I walked back to the Guyers’ house with my mother. We saw Joe and Mrs. Guyer sitting on the porch so we joined them.
    “Hey.” Joe smiled at me.
“Hi.” I returned the smile. “Can we go un-saddle the horses?” I asked.
Joe nodded. “Sure.” He stood and we headed towards the barn. “What’d you say?” He
asked once we were out of hearing distance of our mothers.
“I told her  what I felt, and what I told you.” I replied.

Poem

Here is a poem I “Jotted” down one night at like…one in the morning I think. Hope you like.

How is it that I feel this way?
My eyes sting with tears
My heart is breaking again.
The memories return,
Recreating the feelings I thought
Were gone.

Just like you.

You are just a person in my mind
A blonde who took up half my heart
Taking it with you
When you left
You are only a part of
My past.

Chapter ?? Joe and Kandie “Popcorn and M&M’s”

Here is the “Popcorn and M&M” chapter….one of my faves!

Joe and Kandie
Chapter 2 “Popcorn & M&M’s”
I set my plate of food down on the table, then turned to go get the butter that had been forgotten to be put on the table almost running into Joe who was trying to balance his own plate in one has as well as hold the fat bucket of butter in the other.
“Sorry.” I apologized as I reached for the butter and set it down on the table.
“Thanks.” Joe set his plate down and pulled my chair out for me.
“Thank you.” I smiled as him as I sat down, he sat down in a chair beside of me. “Try the yams. I made them.”
“OK.” Joe put a forkful of the yams into his mouth. He nodded. “They’re delicious.”
“Really?“ I looked at him skeptically. (is that a word)
Joe nodded again. “Yes, really?” His brown eyes held honesty.
“Thanks.” I picked up my own fork and began eating.
Joe tensed up and looked over to my right side. I furrowed my brow and followed his gaze. Jonah sat in the seat to my right. I looked back at Joe, his jaw was set and his brown eyes flashed anger at his brother. I reached over and squeezed his hand. We looked up at he sound of aloud crash in the kitchen. Joe jumped up and rushed to the kitchen. I followed.
The sight in the kitchen made us both laugh. Austin sat in the floor with turkey stuffing all over him, the dishtowel he had tripped on sat beside of him.
“Austin Isaiah Guyer!” Melissa, Austin’s mom stood in the door way. “What happened?” She asked.
“I tripped mom.” Austin mumbled.
Joe reached down his hand to help his cousin stand. “You all right?” He asked.
Austin took Joe’s hand and stood to his feet. “Yeah, thanks.” He brushed him self off.
Joe nodded then lead me back to the dinning room where we finished eating.
Later, I stood wrapped in a thick blanket on the front porch watching the sun set. The orange disk barely showed above (the mountains) turning the clouds pink.
“Hey.”
I turned at the sound. I smiled at Joe. “Hey.” He came up beside of me.
“Are you cold?” Joe asked teasingly. He leaned against the banister.
I nodded and pulled the blanket tighter around me. “Mm-hmm.”
“Do you need a hug?” Joe’s smile melted me. His dark eyes teased.
“Yes.” I stepped into his open arms immediately feeling his warmth. “Much better.”
We watched the sun set and still remained outside.
“I think Austin was embarrassed when he saw you in the kitchen after he slipped.” Joe said after a few minutes of silence.
“I know. Poor Austin.” I looked out across the Guyers front yard. A familiar wolf lay underneath a tree. I smiled at her.
“Come on we better go on inside before someone comes to look for us.” Joe took his arms out from around me.
“All right.” I could still fell the pressure of his arms as I followed him inside. “It’s warm in here.” I remarked taking off the blanket.
“Let’s go see what everyone else is doing.” Joe led me to the living room.
Once we were inside the room we sat down on the couch with Joe’s parents.
“How cold is it outside, Joe?” Mr. Guyer asked his son.
“Probably below freezing. I am not sure.” Joe replied.
“Will it snow, Daddy?” Jane spoke from where she sat by the fireplace.
“I don’t know, sweet heart.” Mr. Guyer replied. “I’m sure snow wouldn’t help your aunts’ shopping spree tomorrow.” He slipped his arm around his wife’s shoulders.
“Is Mama not going?” Joe looked at his dad then his mom. Janise Guyer always went shopping on Black Friday.
Jonathan Guyer smiled at his oldest child. “No, not this year, son.” He told him.
“Why?” This question came from Celia Guyer, Joe’s grandmother. “Are you ill, Jan?”
“No, I’m fine. Quite the opposite, Celia.” Janise replied in her sweet voice. She was smiling and there seemed to be a certain glow to her skin.
“Mama, don’t jump to conclusions.” Jonathan said. “The reason mama is not going this year, Joe,” the man stopped and looked at his three children, “is because she’s expecting-”
Questions started flying before Mr. Guyer could finish his sentence.
“What?”
“How?”
“Since when?’
“What is it?”
“When is it due?”
Jonathan laughed. “About three months.” He answered his mothers’ question first. “How Melissa?” He raised his eyebrows at the woman.
“By how, I mean how does being pregnant prevent her from shopping?” Melissa told him.
“Because I want her to take it easy right now. At least until we know she’s OK.” Mr. Guyer was calm as he answered their questions.
“Do we know what the baby is?” Celia repeated Jane’s question.
“No, not yet.” Janise shook her head.
“And it’s due in May.” Jonathan answered the question he knew Celia would ask next.
Joe suddenly stood and left the room.
Jonathan leaned across his wife and whispered to me. “You might want to follow him.” He smiled at me.
I nodded and followed Joe. I came up beside of him were he stood on the porch. “Are you OK?” I asked.
“Yeah.” Joe nodded. “It’s just mama.” He looked down at me.
“Are you not happy that you’ll have another sibling?” I asked looking back up at him.
“No, that’s not it.” Joe shook his head. He turned and saw down on the porch swing. I saw beside of him. “The last time mama got pregnant she had difficulties with the baby. After five months she got sick and put in the hospital for several days.” He paused. “She lost the baby.” He explained.
“Oh. And you’re worried that that will happen again?” I looked up at him.
“Yes.” Joe nodded. “Not only losing the baby, but losing Mama.” He added. His brown eyes were clouded with worry.
“What was she expecting last time?” I didn’t like the look in his eyes. “Do you know?”
Joe nodded again. “A girl.” He smiled but only for a moment. “Jane was thrilled about it. I think it hit her harder than Jonah or myself.” He rested one arm on the top of the swing behind me.
“I’m sorry.” I couldn’t look at him any longer, his eyes hurt my heart.
“It’s OK.” Joe traced his finger along one of the chains holding the swing to the porch ceiling. “She would have been six in January.”
It was silent for a while and it didn’t bother me. I enjoyed sitting beside Joe, enjoying the company. “I’m sorry I’m so quiet.” I apologized afraid the quietness bothered him.
“No, you’re fine.” Joe smiled this time it made his eyes brighten. “I like this.” He pushed on the porch floor with his feet setting the swing in motion.
“Are you sure?” I felt the wind blow sending shivers down my arms.
Joe nodded. “Are you cold again?” His brown eyes sparkled once again as he teased me.
I nodded too. “But I’m OK.” I smiled at him. “I hope it does snow.” I again let my eyes roam over the huge yard.
“Me too.” Joe reached up and pushed my hair out of my face. His finger tips felt warm on my cold skin.
I shivered again.
“Let’s go inside. I don’t want you to freeze.” Joe stood, waited for me to also before going inside the house. After hanging our coats up we headed back to the living room. The room was vacant except for Jane’s cat Tibby. The big cat lie on the hearth soaking up the heat from the fire. “Move over, Tibby, Kandie needs to thaw.” Joe told the animal as he reached over and shoved at her. Tibby meowed, looked annoyingly at Joe, stood, and leapt off the hearth.
“I smiled at Joe as we sat down on the floor. “She could have stayed.” I told him.
“I know.” Joe glanced over at Tibby now laying on the couch. “But she doesn’t like me.”
“That’s hard to believe. I thought everyone loved you?” I teased him.
“Tibby is a cat. Not a person.” Joe defended himself. “And not everyone loves, or likes, me.” He said.
I laughed. “My animals seemed to like you.” I remembered how Trimsy had acted.
“That’s different.” Joe argued. “And you know it.” He added.
“Yes.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
Joe laughed. “Do you want to watch a movie?” He stood.
“Sure.” I shrugged. “You can pick it out.” I sat back against the warm hearth and looked at him. His dark hair hung across his forehead, his chocolate-brown eyes searched the shelves of moves, with his coat off I could see the muscles in his arms. For a fifteen (fourteen) year-old boy he was strong. He turned back towards me after putting the DVD in the player. He smiled, the dimple in his right cheek made me blush.
“Ready?” Joe asked as eh sat down beside of me.
“For what?” I tilted my head slightly.
“___________” Joe named the movie (what should it be) he had put in.
“Yes.” I nodded and moved my eyes from the boy beside me, to the TV.
“The couch would be comfier.” Mrs. Guyer said from where she now stood in the doorway.
Joe paused the movie. “But the fire’s warmer.” Joe said. “Kandie, got cold outside.” He added so as not to seem disrespectful.
“At least use some pillows for your backs, the hearth can not be good for them.” Mrs. Guyer told us. “Do you want some popcorn?” She asked.
Joe stood. “ I can get it, Mama, you go rest.” He told her joining her in the doorway.
Janise smiled at her son. “Just like your daddy aren’t you?” She patted his arm with her hand. “Don’t worry about me, Joseph. I’ll be fine.” She encouraged him before leaving.
I had never heard Mrs. Guyer call Joe by his full name but I liked the sound of it. I got two pillows off of the couch while Joe went and made the popcorn. I looked up as Tibby hissed at something in the window. Trimsy stood peering in the glass. I smiled at the wolf and went to crack the window. I raised my hand and motioned for her to leave. “I’m fine.” I said to her. She rubbed her head against my hand. “At least stay out of site.” I rubbed her head before closing the window back. I turned around just as Joe walked in the room carrying a tray with a bowl of popcorn, a bag of M & M’s, and two glasses of milk on it. He set the tray on the hearth as I sat down. He took his spot beside of me.
“What were you doing by the window?” Joe asked.
“Trimsy was on the porch, and I had to tell her to stay out of sight.” I replied. I eyed the bag of M&M’s. “What are those for?” I pointed at the bag.
“Have you never had M&M’s and popcorn before?” Joe sounded shocked.
“No.” I shook my head. “Is it good?”
“It’s delicious.” Joe said. He took my hand put a few piece of popcorn in my palm then picked up the M&M bag and poured a few pieces of the chocolate in my hand as well. “Now eat it.”
I did as he said, dropping a couple pieces of each food into my mouth. I chewed slowly first tasting the salty popcorn, then the sweet chocolate. “It is delicious!” I exclaimed.
“You really like it?” Joe asked not sure if I was being serious or not.
“Yes.” I nodded not sure if him not believing me hurt or bothered me.
“Then can I pour the M&M’s into the bowl?” He lifted the candy bag he still held.
“Mm-hmmm.” I mumbled before pouring the rest of my handful of the snack into my mouth.
Joe poured the bag of candies into the bowl of popcorn, and shook it causing several piece of popcorn to fly out of the bowl. “Whoops! I probably should’ve waited to pour the popcorn in too.” He tossed the dirtied snack into the blazing fire. “Are you ready to watch the movie now?” He asked.

“Yes, I am.” I nodded. “Are you?” I turned to face the TV, and rested my back against the pillow.
Joe smiled. “Yep.” He set the bowl of popcorn and M&M’s on his leg. “Your milk is behind you so be careful.” He said as he hit play on the remote.
“OK.” I stretched my legs out and realized I was still in my jeans. “Wait.”
“What?” Joe paused the movie for the third time.
“Can I go change? If I fall asleep I don’t want to be in my jeans.” I asked feeling embarrassed. “Sorry,”
“It’s OK. That’s a good idea.” Joe stopped the movie, we stood up, and went up to our rooms to change.
I opened my drawer and pulled out a set of pajamas. The purple pants had stars on them. I stepped out of my jeans and into the pants. I then changes shirts, tossed the clothes into the dirty clothes hamper and rushed back down stairs. Joe was already there waiting. He held his glass of milk away from him, his face twisted in disgust.
“What is it?” I asked hoping it wasn’t me.
“The milk.” Joe replied. I sighed in relief. “I think it sat in front of the fire too long, it’s bad.”
“Here let me have yours, give me mine too and I’ll go refill them.” I reached for the glass.
“I can-”
“No, you can’t. I can do it. You’ve been up enough. I’ll get them.” I insisted.
Joe handed me the glasses. “OK, Kath.” he gave in.
I liked the sound of the shorting of my name. “Thank you.” I smiled sweetly at him before turning and heading to the kitchen. I poured the two bad milks down the drain, refilled them with fresh cold milk, then carried them, to the living room.
“Thank you.” Joe took the glass I handed him.
“You’re welcome.” I sat down beside of him once again. “Is the popcorn still good?” I asked when I realized he had eaten some.
“Yeah.” Joe took a sip out of his drink. “OK, are we ready [I] now [/I]?” He asking holding up the remote.
“Yes.” I nodded and settled back against my pillow. I noticed he had changed into a pair of lounge pants and a white t-shirt. Joe pressed play on the remote, then set it on the hearth.
The popcorn and M&M bowl was empty and our milk was gone by the middle of the move. By the time we were 45 minutes into the movie I was beginning to get sleepy. I tried not to yawn but it slipped out. I covered my mouth as I did.
Joe smiled. “Sleepy?” He asked.
“Mmm-hmmm.” I nodded. “No!” I grabbed his arm as he reached back for the remote. “I can stay awake.”
Joe chuckled. “All right.” He let his hand fall back to its place. “You can lean on me if you want.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “Kandie.” Joe whispered my name 15 minutes later. “Katherine?” He smiled when he realized I had fallen asleep. He stopped the movie when the credits started, carried me up to my bedroom, laid me on my bed, and covered me with the sheets. “Good night.” He whispered before leaving.

~Joe~
“You really like this girl don’t you?” I heard my dad ask as I put the dirty dishes from mine and Kandie’s movie into the sink. I turned to see him sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of milk.
“Yeah, I do a lot, Dad.” I replied. I wondered where he was going to go with this.
“Why do you like her?” Dad asked next.
I knew he wanted me to think about it, and so I did. A few minutes later I replied. “I am not sure I ever [I] stopped [/I] liking Kandie, Dad.” I paused. “Not only because she’s pretty, extremely pretty, but because she cares. She listens, she doesn’t have to talk the whole time, or be the center of attention. She’s [I] nothing [/I] like most of the girls at school, Dad.”
My dad smiled. “All right.” He stood, moved over to where I still stood by the sink, placed his cup in the sink, and looked at me. “I just was making sure you were for the right reasons, son.” He said.
“I know, Dad. I think it’s part of God’s plan.”
“That’s good.” Dad winked. “Because so do I. Always have.” He then turned and left.
As I turned my bedroom light out, and crawled under the sheets of my bed ten minutes later, I thought about how much I hoped my dad and I were right.

DestinyLies

Joe’s Battle

I posted this on TDL already and on TCoMH but here we go!

Joe and I lie on the couch in his living room watching TV. I rested my head on Joe’s chest and listened to his heartbeat. Joe smiled at me, he ran his fingers through my hair. “Are you comfortable?” He asked teasingly.
“Mm-hmm.” I nodded. “I know you are.” I teased him back.
Joe laughed. “Watch the movie.” He said.
I turned my eyes toward the television screen. My eyes began to close as I started to drift off to sleep. Only a few minutes past before I fell asleep.
Joe managed to carry me upstairs to my bedroom and lay me on my bed without waking me up. The young man kissed my cheek before leaving the room.
~Joe~
The battle going on inside of me as I closed the door to my girlfriends bedroom was strong. Stronger than ever before. I had never before wanted to sleep with Kandie as much as I did now. I released the hold I still had on the doorknob, and practically ran out of the house. I did not stop running until I reached a familiar oak tree. I leaned my back against the base of the tree and slid my body to the ground.
I pressed my hand to my chest where I could still feel the pressure of Kandie’s head where she had rested it. I didn’t understand how I still loved the same girl after four years. But even more than that I didn’t understand how-why- she still loved me. “God, I know you’re here, you are with me. Please, help me to be strong, stay pure, and to understand.” I prayed aloud to my Father in Heaven. “I love Kandie, you know that. You also know how I don’t want to (defile) her before it’s right. I don’t want to disappoint her, or my parents but most importantly, I don’t want to disappoint you, Lord.” I leaned my head back against the old oak tree and looked up at the starry sky. “God, I don’t know what to do. Having Kandie live with me and my family never felt wrong. We weren’t, we aren’t, doing anything. Now though…” I stopped and stared up at the sky, a cool breeze blew over me. “She need to move back in with her parents.” As I said it I knew it was what God wanted. No, I didn’t like the idea, I wouldn’t be as close in case of an emergency, I wouldn’t see her every morning until I got to school, or her house to pick her up but I could - I would- get over it. “Help me to overcome my emotions, Lord.” I prayed. It was late when I finally stood and walked slowly back to the house.

~Kandie~
I blinked open my eyes as I heard the door to my bedroom open, the door that led outside. I turned over and looked towards the door, seeing Joe I sighed. “What are you doing?” I whispered, I glanced towards the clock on my nightstand. “At two in the morning?” I noticed he still wore his jeans and t-shirt.
“I went for a run.” Joe replied. “I was just checking on you.”
“Oh.” I sat up and looked at the young man, who now sat on the edge of my bed.
“I didn’t meant to wake you.” Joe apologized. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK.” I smiled at him. “Are you ok?” I touched my fingers to his cheek. I saw the far away look in his brown eyes.
“Yea, I’m fine.” Joe returned my smile. “Go back to sleep.” He stood.
“I love you.” I told him.
“I love you too.” He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.” I whispered. I lay back down as he exited the room.

??????What do you think?????

Joe and Kandie…Beginning

Joe and Kandie
Chapter 1
(Note: I know things in this story NORMALLY definitely would not happen but I wrote this six years ago and it would be TOO HARD to change it all now. I will change some of it but not all of it.)

    “Ready, Josey?” I asked my best friend. We crouched in the bushes outside my house. Tonight was finally the night. We were running away.  I pushed my dark brown hair back out of my face. I had been waiting to leave home since my parents stopped paying attention to me and more to my seven other siblings.  (Note: I might change the reason).
“Ready.” Josey nodded, her dirty blond hair shined with the light coming from the window behind us. “Three…” she started to count down, “two…..” she held up her fingers, “one.” We broke from the bushes and ran into the woods.  I tried to keep up with Josey, but it was hard in the dark woods. I wasn’t as fast or sporty as Josey so she often got ahead of me.
    “Come on, Kandie!” Josey called for me.
“I’m coming!” I yelled after her. In the dark I couldn’t see the tree root in front of me. The toe of my tennis shoe caught the root and I fell to the ground. Quickly picking myself up I looked around for my friend. “Josey!” I called not seeing her. “Josephine!” I screamed. She didn’t respond. I started running in the direction I last saw my friend going. I called for her as I ran. I turned around hearing the sound of leaves crunching. “Josey?” I whispered my heart beat quickening.  No reply.
    A hunter stepped out from behind a bush. “What are you doing on my hunting land?” He asked in a gruff voice.
“I-I’m sorry. I lost my friend.” I stammered.
“Get out!” The man fired his gun into the air.
I turned and ran deeper into the woods. Far away from the hunter and his land. I kept running, still calling for Josey.  I broke into a clearing and looked up at the sky.  I couldn’t see any stars it was too cloudy. I then heard thunder. I ran harder into the woods as lightning flashed through the sky. “JOSEY!” I screamed. I stopped as I heard a familiar howl. Trimsy. My wolf. I grasped the small silver whistle that hung around my neck, raised it to my lips and blew. No sound came. No sound should have. The whistle was meant to be heard by animals, animals that I  alone controlled. Many wild animals. (note: not quite sure yet how I received it) Only a few seconds past, fifteen at the most, before a gray wolf stepped out from behind a bush. “Trimsy.” I spoke the wolfs name. The large animal looked up at me and seemed to have a question in her eyes. “I want to do this.” I told her.   
    Trimsy rubbed her head against my leg. “I know.” I patter her fur. “I’ll be safe in England.” I assured her. If I can ever find Josephine. I thought. Our plans were to fly to England. Well my plans were to fly to England and live with a family I knew there. Josey was planning on moving in with her boyfriends family. She hated the foster home she was in.  Trimsy growled as me. “Let me go.” I turned and ran away from her. I knew she could catch me if she wanted to. I heard her running beside me but let her stay.
    The rain came then. Pounding through the trees it soaked me in a matter of seconds. I was beginning to get tired. I tripped often but continued running. I wanted to be as far away from home as I could get. I broke through the trees soon. I looked up a hill and saw a mansion at the top. I ran up the hill hoping I could ask for directions to the Airport.  As I stepped into the yard of the house I noticed two boys standing on the porch of the house.
“Joe.” one boy spoke to the other.
    The other boy, Joe, turned around and noticed me. His gaze stayed on me a look of familiarity flashed across his face. He ran out to me. I looked up at him as he reached me. I meant to speak but couldn’t. I recognized the boy but I couldn’t remember how. His dark chocolate-colored eyes looked at me.
    “Mrs. Guyer!” The other boy called inside the house as I crumbled to the ground unconscious.  Joe caught me before I could hit the ground.

I blinked my eyes open some time later. I didn’t recognize where I was.
“Hello.” A soft voice spoke.
I turned my eyes towards the sound. The boy who had run out to me sat in a chair by the bed. 
“Are you OK?” Joe asked. “You fainted in our front yard yesterday.” His silky brown hair fell across his forehead.
I nodded in reply. “I-I’m fine.” I muttered sitting up in the bed. I noticed I had on a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt.
“I’m Joe Guyer.” Joe said. He looked to be about fourteen or so.
“Katherine Bryson.” I felt odd sitting in an unfamiliar bed, talking to an unfamiliar insanely cute boy. “But people call me Kandie.”
“Kandie.” Joe repeated my name. “I like it.”
“Thank you. So do I.” I said.
“What were you doing out in the rain?” Joe twisted his fingers around each other and looked away from me.
“I was running away from home with my friend Josey.” I said shyly.
    “Oh she’s awake.” A voice sounded from the doorway.
“Yes, Mama.” Joe spoke to the woman who stood in the doorway.
“Joe, why don’t you leave for a minute while I talk to her.” The woman told her son.
Joe hesitated. “Yes, ma’am.” He stood and left the room.
I watched as Mrs. Guyer moved more inside the room and took the chair her son had been sitting in. “Now, what is your name?” She asked.
“Katherine Bryson.” I replied. I now felt embarrassed under her gaze. “Kandie.” I pushed the blankets back off of me.
“Any relation to Sarah Bryson?” Mrs. Guyer leaned closer.
I didn’t reply at first but then I decided I better not lie. “Yes. My mother.” I replied. I slid off of the bed and headed towards the window.
“Of course! I haven’t seen Sarah in five years but you look exactly like her!” Mrs. Guyer smiled. “What were you doing out in the rain so late at night?” She came up next to me.
I flinched. “I am running away.” I whispered.
Mrs. Guyer looked shocked. “Why?” She asked.
“Because I am always looked over. No one ever pays attention to me. Except Sarah, my twin.” I said it quickly so afraid of getting in trouble. I looked up at the lady.
“That doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to me.” Mrs. Guyer crossed her arms over her chest. (note: as I try to find a BETTER reason I will edit the details and such).
I felt the tears welling up inside my eyes. “I know it’s not.” I heard my voice crack.  “I guess I am tired of being at home. In such a big family. I want to get out.”
“Where were you planning on going?” Mrs. Guyer asked. She tilted her head in a way that made me feel like she really cared about me.
“England. I have friends there.” I looked away from her stare.
“And you have friends here as well I am sure.” Mrs. Guyer said. “I know Joe and you use to be great friends before we moved to England five years ago.” She smiled. “And I know he missed you.”
“But he doesn’t remember who I am.” I argued.  Not that it mattered.
“He does. He just doesn’t recognize you.” Mrs. Guyer said. “I am sure your family would miss you. I know they would.” She touched my arm. “And you know that too. Otherwise you would have run out of this house the second you woke up.”
“I know.” A tear fell down my face.
“We need to call your mother.” Mrs. Guyer told me.

I nodded in agreement. “OK.” I said.
“Stay here. I’ll let Joe come back in. Do you still have the same number for your home?”  I assured her we did then Mrs. Guyer squeezed my arm before leaving.
“Hey.” I heard Joe’s voice behind me.
I didn’t want to turn around and look at him. I hated crying in front of people. “Hey.” I muttered back turning to look at him.
“Is everything OK?” Joe stood at the end of the bed his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I’m going back home.”
“Why are you crying?” Joe asked.
“Oh, don’t worry about it.” I shrugged. “I’m a girl. We’re emotional.”
“I know.” Joe teased. I noticed that his voice was slightly higher than it should be.
“We’re going to get a Christmas tree today. I wish you could come with us.” He said.
“It’s OK.” I sat down on the window seat. “It would be nice though.”
Joe moved over to me and sat down next to me. “Maybe you still can.” He smiled at me. A dimple appeared in his right cheek.
“Maybe.” I smiled back.
“I love going tree hunting. My family does it the old fashioned way.” Joe explained. “We go hiking in the woods looking for a big tree to put in the living room. Then my brother Jonah and I cut it down.” He pushed his hair back off of his forehead.
“Sounds fun.” I admitted. “I wish I could go.”
“What are you talking about?” A girl entered the room. She looked about my age, thirteen, with light brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes.
“Tree hunting, Jane.” Joe replied. “Kandie, this is my sister Jane.” He introduced.
I smiled a the girl, I barely remembered her. “Hello.” I greeted.
“Hi.” Jane sat down in the floor cross-legged. “Tree hunting is so much fun. We go hiking, and then when we get home we eat hot-chocolate and cookies!” She rocked back and forth.
“I wish I could go.” I said. And I truly meant it.
“You are going.” Mrs. Guyers’ voice sounded from the doorway. I looked up at the lady she was smiling at us. “I called your mother and told her where you were, she said they would come get you but then I asked if it would be all right if you came Christmas tree hunting with us and if you just spent the night. I am sure Jane would love to have you over.” She said. “Sarah said that was fine.”
Jane nodded. “Sweet!” She clapped her hands.
“Oh, well thank you, Mrs. Guyer.” I said happily.

 

 

 

Hope you like it!!

“Spoiling”

An excerpt of Kandie and Joe, when they’re married.

 

I looked up at Joe, “Can I talk to you?” I asked.
“Sure.” Joe nodded he set his cup down and followed me  out of the room. “What is it?” He asked.
I looked up at him, “Joe, you have given me everything I have ever wanted, even when I don’t deserve it or need it.” I said.
“What’s your point?” Joe asked.
“You spoil me, Joe, I like when you give me things but you don’t need to. All I want from you is for you to love me.” I dropped my gaze.
“Kitty, I have loved you since I knew what it really meant. Giving things to you is just one of my ways of showing you that.” Joe lifted my face to look at him. “I enjoy spoiling you, baby. Please don’t make me stop.”
I smiled at him. “OK.” I said. “What is another way you show me you love me?”
“I thought you would ask that.” Joe smiled. He leaned down and kissed me.
I smiled back up at him when he pulled back. “That is a good way.” I said.
“I know.” Joe slipped his arms around me. “How about we go upstairs?” He asked.
“OK.” I giggled.
Joe lead me up to our room, “Now, I will show you again.” He said.
I smiled. “If you must.” I teased.
Joe leaned down and kissed me again.
“I like that way.” I said once he pulled back.
Joe laughed. “Yeah I thought you would. I do.”
I pushed away from him to change into my pajamas. I looked over  at him. “What?” I asked.
“Come here.” Joe held his hand out.
I put my jeans in the drawer and closed it, I went to him and took his hand. “What?” I asked again.
“Do you love me?” Joe asked.
“Of course.” I replied.
“How much?” Joe slipped one arm around my waist.
I looked down at him, for I stood in front to where he now sat on our bed, “Enough to stay with you for so long.” I replied.

Dancing in the Rain

This is an excerpt I came up with and have not written it on paper yet. Hope you enjoy!

 

The sound of thunder and rain pounding on the windows hit my ears. I looked up at Joe, he knew what I wanted. He nodded his approval and followed me towards the front door of the house.  I looked up at my boyfriend again once we stood at the edge of the porch, barely underneath the cover of the porches roof. I smiled at the young man and he returned it with his own. We then raced out into the pouring rain.

Joe held tight to my hand and ran with me towards the grass. Once we stopped he pulled me close leaned his head down and whispered in my ear. “Dance with me, Kath.” He then twirled me beneath his arm.

“Do you still love me?” I asked as I twirled.

“Of course.” Joe replied, we danced a few steps before he twirled me again. “Why would you ask that question?” He said.

“I don’t know. I just like to make sure.” I replied.

Joe slipped one arm around my waist, lifted me off the ground, and spun in a circle. “I never have stopped loving you, and I never will.” He said.

“I know.” I told him as he lowered me back down. “I love you just the same.”

Joe smiled at me  causing my heart to skip a beat. “I think I would die if you did stop.” We danced in a small circle.

“Then I won’t stop.” I shook my head my wet hair sticking to my skin.

We danced and twirled for a few minutes, the lightning and thunder being our back ground music.  Joe held on tight to me as I twirled into him. I looked up at him and my breath caught. The love that shone in his dark brown eyes melted me. We stopped dancing. He reached up with one hand and pushed back my soaked hair that was in my face.  “Don’t ever forget , or even think about doubting, that I love you.” He ordered. He reached his other hand up to my face, cupping it around my neck, he lowered his head and I felt his lips press against mine.

I accepted the feel of his mouth against mine, as I kissed him back. “I won’t.” I promised him when he pulled away……….

 

 

Here is a graphic made by my good friend “Harrison Odell”

 

How do you like it?????

New York

Well, I am finally getting to go to New York. State that is. My mom and I will be flying out Friday from Greensboro, my Mom will fly home the next day because she is only going to get me settled at camp ( and because I don't want to go alone). Then I will return to my home in the south the following Saturday, after a full week of camp. My best friend might be coming along for the flight, and returning home with my mom Saturday. Wish me luck and pray that everything goes well, and for safety!!

Welcome

Welcome to The Sound of Tears, a blog with my writings in it. My blog was/is originally at http://destinilies.livejournal.com but my computers security system blocks it now. So I am making another one for now. Hope you enjoy and PLEASE comment and subscribe.