Fire Light

 

I picked up a few pieces of wood and started to carry them down to the fire pit.

“Let me carry those, Kandie. You can carry the matches.” Joe came up beside of me, reached for the wood, and placed the box of matches, and some rolled up newspapers in my hand. “It’s a great day for a chicken stew.” He remarked as we walked towards the fire pit that was in the lower horse pasture. “It’s getting cold.” He looked up at the darkening sky.

“Yes, it is.” I nodded in agreement. I looked ahead of us at Robert and Jane both were carrying the plates, forks and cups –all plastic of course- towards the table set up on one side of the fire.  “I could’ve carried the wood, I’m not that weak.” I told him, as I felt useless only carrying the match box.

Joe chuckled. “The wood weighs more than you do.” He teased me. “And it can hurt you.” He set the wood down by the pit and straightened back up.

“It does not.” I crinkled my nose at him. “And I’ll be fine carrying wood.” I hated the teasing sparkle in the young mans’ eyes as he looked down at me. “I’m not helpless, Joe.” I turned around and headed back towards the wood pile.

“Nice going, Joe, it’s a great night to upset her.” Jane spoke to her brother.

“Shut up, Jane.” Joe snapped before following me. His legs were longer than mine, and I wasn’t walking very fast, so it didn’t take him long to catch up to me. “Kandie.” He grabbed onto my arm to make me stop walking. “Don’t be mad at me, please, I was just kidding with you.” He said. “I thought you knew that.”

“I did, Joe, but sometimes I get tired of feeling useless, and helpless.” I explained. “I can take care of myself.” I looked up at him. “I’m not that weak.”

“I-I know that, Kandie.” Joe let his hand fall to his side. “I…” he ran his fingers through his short cropped hair. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. You are a big help to everyone, especially to me.” He whispered the last few words.

“It’s OK. I know you didn’t mean to.” I forgave him. “I’m sorry too, for over reacting and getting upset when I shouldn’t have.” I wanted to reach out and touch him but I didn’t.

“I understand, it’s OK.” Joe shook his head as to say ‘don’t apologize’.

“Kandie!”

We both looked up the hill at the sound of my name, Sarah, my twin sister, stood by my parents car that was now parked in the Guyers’ driveway. She was looking at me with an exciting smile on her face.

“It’s probably about Riley.” I remarked.

“Go on and talk to her, I’ll get the rest of the wood.” Joe told me.

“Ugh! You win.” I scoffed. I lay one hand on his arm, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for caring about, and protecting  me.” I smiled at him.

“You’re welcome.” He returned my smile before I headed towards where my sister was, and he walked to the wood pile.

“What is it, Sarah?” I asked once I got to her. She looked really pretty with her light blonde hair pulled back, and a light cover of makeup on her face.

The sparkle in (my sisters blue) eyes was bright. “(Riley)’s coming.” Sarah told me. “He should be here in about half an hour.” She seemed extra bouncy tonight.

I laughed at her. “I thought it might have been about him.” I said teasingly. “Hello, Mama. Hey, Daddy.” I looked past Sarah and greeted my parents who were talking to Mr. and Mrs. Guyer.

“Hello, Kandie." My parents spoke back smiling at me.

"Kandie, if you don’t mind, can you and Sarah go get the condiments and napkins?” Mrs. Guyer asked me.

“Sure, Janise.” I took Sarah’s arm and led her inside the house. “So how is Riley?” I asked as I picked up the napkins, and relish packages off of the kitchen counter, handed them to Sarah before picking up the mustard, ketchup, and potato chip bag and setting them on a tray.

“He’s good. Working a lot, and trying to stay ahead in school.” Sarah said. “Do you want me to put these  on the tray too?” I nodded and she set what I had handed her on the tray. “And so it’s good for him to get a break every once in a while.”

“That’s good. He needs a break every once in a while.” I said. “I’m just trying to spend as much time as I can with Joe before he leaves for training which still isn’t for a while.” I picked up the tray and walked towards the door that led outside.

“Are you OK with that?” Sarah asked as she opened the screen door for me. “With him leaving for so long?”

I shrugged as we fell into step together. “I’m not crazy about it, no, but I support him in it. He’s wanted to join the Army since he was eight-years-old and I’m not going to keep him from doing something he wants to do. It’s a good thing, and we both need to see how we’ll do being away from each other for long periods of time.” I told her. “I know I love him, and don’t want to lose him but he’ll be OK.” I glanced over at her. “It’ll be difficult for a while not having him here.” I let my gaze slide over the pasture looking for Joe. I spotted him chasing after Jan, I smiled at them.

“And I’m sure he feels the same way. I know he loves you.” Sarah smiled teasingly at me. “He’s crazy about you, Kee.” She called me by the nickname she had given to me when we were little.

“And I’m just as crazy about him.” I said. “I just don’t want to let him go.” I set the tray down on the table.

“Who said you had to??” Sarah looked at me with a knowing glance.

“No one. I guess I meant let him go where I won’t see him often.” I began unloading the tray not wanting to talk about Joe leaving any longer.

“OK.” Sarah understood my tactic. “Where’s Jonah?” She asked looking around for Joe’s younger brother.

“He’s going to pick up Jennifer.” I replied. Jonah had recently started dating a girl from school, which took some of the tension between Joe and Jonah away. “I’m so glad they’re dating. Jen has been waiting for Jonah for a few years.” I added.

“And because it takes pressure off of Joe.” Sarah added. She glanced towards the driveway hoping to see Riley’s black car, when she didn’t spot the vehicle she looked back at me.
“Yes, that too.” I nodded. “He hasn’t threatened us in a while.” I picked up the tray and set it on the ground beneath the table. “By ‘threatened’ I mean try to hurt Joe, and take me.” I explained. I shivered as a breeze blew, rubbing my arms I looked over at the fire pit.
“It’s getting cold out here.” Sarah too was wrapping her arms around her body. “The fire isn’t started.” She said also looking at the pit.
“Joe!” I called the young man. Joe had caught Jan by now and was tossing her up into the air making the child squeal. “He’ll start the fire.” I said smiling at my sister.
“Maybe he didn’t hear you.” Sarah remarked when he didn’t come.
“No, he heard me.” I shook my head. “Joseph!” I couldn’t help smiling when I called him the second time, using his full name, knowing that he’d come faster if I did. Joe set Jan down on the ground, spoke something to her probably about coming back to play in a little while, before walking over to me. I felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth as he got closer. Sometimes I hated what Joe could do to my feelings just by looking at me.
“Sorry, I was coming, I was going to toss Jan a few more times.” Joe told me once he stood in front of me.
I shook my head. “No, it’s OK. You could have.” I looked up at him. “I was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind starting the fire, it’s getting cold.” I smiled sweetly at him. “Please.”
Joe returned my smile making the dimple in his right cheek appear, causing me to catch my breath. “Anything below sixty degrees is cold to you, Kandie.” He teased me reaching up and tugging lightly on a strand of my brown hair. “Yes, I can start the fire.” He nodded. He then turned to Sarah. “Please, tell you sister to stop looking at me like that, it doesn’t help my health.” He then turned and headed to the fire pit.
Sarah giggled. “I’ll tell her.” She nodded to him then looked at me with a teasing grin. “You heard him.” She lightly shoved my shoulder. “Don’t kill your boyfriend.” Her (light brown???) eyes laughed at me.
“Shut up.” I muttered. “I’m not doing anything to hurt him.” I moved over and sat down on one of the log benches that surrounded the fire pit. Sarah didn’t join me. “Sorry, Joe.” I apologized to him. He was crouched at the pit stacking fire wood and kindling into the hole. I heard Joe’s soft chuckle drift over his shoulder. “What?” I asked him.
Joe tossed a few more sticks into the pile before turning to me. “You do know I was just kidding, right?” He took the two small steps-he actually crawled- over to where I sat, rose up eye-level with me, resting his hands on my knees.
“Yes, I know that.” I looked straight into his eyes which was a mistake because I knew I wouldn’t be able to look away. “I thought I’d be nice and apologize anyway.” I mumbled covering his hands with mine.
“Thank you.” Joe rubbed his thumbs over my knees. “Of course you’re forgiven.” He glanced back at Sarah for a second before switching his eyes back to me. “It does weaken me though.” He said before leaning forward and lightly pressing his lips to mine.
“Ew, Joe!” I heard Jan say from several feet away.
“Shouldn’t that weaken you too?” I asked once he pulled back. I tried to catch my breath.
“Yes. And it does.” Joe replied with a nod, leaning away from me.
“Fire, Joseph.” I managed to tear my gaze away from his, and look behind him at the still dry wood.
“Right.” Joe nodded in understanding and turned back to his task.
Sarah then chose to sit down next to me on the log, and once again shoved me playfully on the shoulder. A sweet “aw, I can’t believe he just did that” smile was spread up my sisters face. “Nice.” She whispered barely loud enough for me to hear.
I laughed a little and nodded in agreement. I heard Trimsy, my wolf who sat behind me,  growl, making me look up towards the house. “Your boyfriend’s here now.” I said teasingly to Sarah seeing Riley’s black corvette stopping next to my parents car in the Guyers’ long driveway.
    Sarah couldn’t keep the smile from spreading up her face even more.
“Go meet him.” I made a motion with my hands to shoo her away.
“I’m going.” Sarah stood and headed towards the car.
I reached back and touched Trimsy’s head. “Easy girl.” I tried to sooth the wolf. “He’s a friend.” I watched Riley’s face brighten once he saw Sarah walking towards him. I was happy for Sarah, Riley was a very nice guy who seemed to care much about her. I watched the two quickly embrace in greeting, then step back and start talking. I shivered again as the wind blew, standing I stepped over to the table, poured hot apple cider into a Styrofoam cup, and sat back down on the log. Joe had gotten a few sticks to burn by now, and was trying to coax the fire to catch onto the logs. “Having difficulties?” I asked him. I cupped my hands around the warm cup.
    “It’s not wanting to light.” Joe told me. He blew at the flames a few more times. “Finally!” He sighed as a log caught fire. After waiting a minute or two more to make sure the fire was going good he slid back and sat on the ground next to my legs brushing the dirt from his hands. “I started the fire for you.” He looked back at me, his brown hair fell over his forehead.
I smiled. “Yes, you did. Thank you.” I reached up and pushed his bangs to the side. “You can go play with Jan if you want.” I let my hand fall back to my lap.
“Daniel is.” Joe pointed towards the upper pasture where my little brother Daniel and Jan were at building something with sticks. “He doesn’t mind playing with Jan even though he is several years older.” He said. “I appreciate it.”
“Yes, he gets along well with children Jan’s age, I guess it’s because he feels like a big brother.” I took a sip of my cider. “Do you get tired of playing with her?” I asked him not sure what he meant by ‘appreciate‘.
Joe brushed the dirt off of his knees. “No, I don’t mind playing with her. I love Jan. But sometimes she doesn’t realize I want to spend time with you, too.” He slid up next to me on the log. “Daniel lets me and Jan get what we want.” He raised his hand in a wave. “Hey, Riley.” He greeted the young man extending his hand towards Riley, who had apparently come into the circle with Sarah.
“Hey, Joe.” Riley took Joe’s offered hand and shook it. “Hey, Kandie.” He nodded politely at me.
“Hey, Riley.” I smiled at both Riley and Sarah. Sarah’s smile couldn’t have gotten any bigger. I spotted a football, baseball, and a few mitts a few feet away turning to Joe I said, “You and Riley can go throw a football or something if you want.” I wasn’t trying to get rid of the boys because I didn’t want them aroung but I wanted to talk to Sarah, alone for a few minutes.
Joe looked down at me, understood what I wanted, and nodded. “You owe me a walk later.” He whispered into my ear before standing.
“That might be hard to give.” I said sarcastically. I watched him pick up the football and lead Riley out into the field. “Sit.” I told Sarah nodding my head towards the seat Joe had been sitting in.
Sarah obeyed. “Are you mad at me?” She asked a puzzled look on her face.
I laughed. “No! I just wanted to talk to you.” I drank the rest of my warm cider and set the cup down. “You can’t stop smiling can you?” I teased her.
“No.” Sarah shook her head, her eyes darting towards Riley who was throwing the football to Joe. “I have never felt this way towards anybody before.” She twisted a strand of her hair around her finger. “It’s like nothing bad could happen.”
I held my hands out towards the fire. “Do you feel like he’s a magnet, and you’re the paperclip?” I saw my other siblings arriving in my older brother, Daniel’s, truck.
“Yes!” Sarah nodded, her face had a look of embarrassment on it. “I feel like I suffocate him sometimes.” She pushed her hair back out of her face and I noticed her face was pink.
“It’s not just you. I feel the same way towards Joe.” I smiled at her. “It’s normal. I don’t feel like I suffocate Joe as much as I use to. He’ll go out with his friends sometimes without me, which is fine, and I do the same with my friends.” I glanced at Daniel and Jan, then towards Joe and Riley. “It’s just something about guys that makes that happen. I think it also depends on how strong the relationship is.” I thought back to two years ago….